


let's burn together

by lovelivesinthedream



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fire, M/M, Very Minor, minor mentions of self-harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-09 21:47:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5556656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelivesinthedream/pseuds/lovelivesinthedream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yixing brings the world to life while Chanyeol destroys it with just one touch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	let's burn together

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for reLay exchange on lj. i really loved this prompt, and i tried very hard to make it good, so i'm glad the prompter liked it. i hope everyone else will like it too. thanks to the exchange mods, the prompter and anyone that reads!

The wind carries the heavy scent of ozone burning. Smoldering embers glow, orange and red flickering across the blackened earth as far as the eye can see. The skeleton of a housing structure is barely standing. Crisp, smoking fallen beams and brick paint a portrait of death. This charred wasteland is all that remains after the fire that swept through.

The people that once called this place home will hate fire now. They will fear it and curse it, blame it for all of their losses – well, they would if there were any survivors. 

Yixing tips his head slightly to the side, closing his eyes to listen better. If he just listens hard enough, if he just tries his very best, then maybe he can save someone. Maybe he can finally change things. But his silent prayer goes unanswered (as it always does). There’s not a single heartbeat no matter how badly he wishes there was.

It’s no use. There’s no life left here. There never is by the time Yixing arrives. 

Walking with careful steps, he tries to navigate through the destruction. Despite his caution, he nearly trips, and when he bends down to discover his obstacle, he’s met with the dirty, grime covered vision of a small doll in a singed dress. 

There were children here, but they’re gone now. Everything is gone.

He can feel the air stir behind him from where he’s kneeling, the lonely doll abandoned to its grave between his feet. The temperature rises, quickly, as he stands. He turns, but it’s unnecessary. He already knows who it is.

“You’re late,” Chanyeol announces in his deep voice. There’s a smile on his face, but they both know it’s forced. Neither of them are happy to meet like this once again. It’s unavoidable, though. It can’t be stopped or changed. Their fate has been set in stone since the moment they were created.

Chanyeol is death and destruction. Yixing is life and hope. They are necessary opposites needed to keep the world in balance. _‘Two sides of the same coin,’_ as the saying goes. One cannot exist without the other, and yet, they can’t co-exist without destroying each other, no matter how hard they try. 

And oh, how they’ve tried.

“I came as fast as I could,” Yixing answers, mouth in a grim line. He could _feel_ the flames licking over these people, but no matter how hard he searched, he couldn’t pinpoint where it was happening. It’s always the same like that. He’s not meant to interfere with Chanyeol’s doings, and so, he is fundamentally incapable of showing up in time to stop him. Only when it’s too late for him to be of any help, his feet naturally lead him to the devastation.

At times, it’s almost unbearable. 

There are scratches down Chanyeol’s arms, dried blood caked and flaking around his fingernails. Self-inflicted injuries, more likely than not. It’s his attempt to hold the chaos inside – hurting himself so he won’t have to hurt others. It _never_ works, but he won’t stop trying no matter how many times Yixing has begged him to. 

He won’t meet Yixing’s stare, won’t let Yixing see the inferno that burns inside of him even now. He’s still ashamed of it after all this time. It makes Yixing ache deep in his core because he’s meant to fix, meant to _heal_ , and yet, he can’t do anything for Chanyeol. He can’t make it better.

Chanyeol laughs humorlessly and scratches at the side of his neck, eyes downcast and reflecting the glow of the embers. “I’ll try to slow down next time. Wait for you to get here. It’s not fair that you always have to miss the party.”

“Don’t,” Yixing says, firm. “Don’t blame yourself. You know it had to happen. If nobody died, the world would be even more overpopulated. There’d be even more problems. Everyone would end up dead or wishing they were.”

“So I’m doing them a favor by killing them? Is that what you’re saying?” His voice is hard and challenging, daring Yixing to continue. It’s an old argument. 

Yixing closes the distance between them without hesitation, ignoring the half-step Chanyeol tries to take to keep them apart. With determination and a gentle hand, he touches Chanyeol’s soot covered cheek. The skin is too warm against his palm, but he won’t pull away. These few moments are all that he’ll be allowed until the next stolen pocket of time where they can be alone, and he won’t let a single second be wasted. 

He gently brushes a piece of ash away with his thumb. Their eyes finally meet. Chanyeol might sound unyielding, but he can’t hide his desperation for Yixing’s comfort. Even if he won’t believe the words, he still yearns to hear them. 

“You’re not a monster, Chanyeol,” Yixing answers the silent plead in the same way he always has. The same way he always will. “Because of some greater design that neither of us can know, these people were meant to die here today. They were meant to die like this.” He folds his smaller frame around Chanyeol, holding him through the tremors and soundless sobs. In such close proximity, it’s impossible to be unscathed. Yixing doesn’t spare a single thought for the pain of his skin beginning to burn. 

“We are what we were made to be,” he whispers, lips blistering as they touch the shell of Chanyeol’s ear. The wounds heal as soon as they are made. “And you, you are _good_ , no matter what.”

“I’m not.” His voice is thick and muffled, but the words are spoken with unwavering conviction. 

Yixing holds tighter. If only he could suck all of Chanyeol’s pain and sadness inside himself. If only he could absorb all the dark thoughts that plague Chanyeol’s mind. No matter how close they get, he’s never close enough.

Their time is running out. He can feel it in the rush of blood through his veins, in the quickening of breath escaping from him lungs. Chanyeol can feel it too because he stiffens in Yixing’s arms. A pressure is building between them. A static charge that will expand and force them to collide together. It will consume them, rendering them incapable of fighting what must come next. 

Yixing has long since given up attempting to stop the inevitable outcome. _What must be, must be._ Chanyeol tries to tear away, but Yixing catches his wrists. His face is anguished and full of despair. He never gives up. It’s one of the many things Yixing loves about him.

The air around them is still. Waiting. Expectant. 

“Let go, Chanyeol. I’m right here with you,” he promises, blistering lips pressing against soft, molten skin. Chanyeol is overheating with each second that passes. It can’t be changed. He can’t be cooled down. Yixing slides his fingers up the back of Chanyeol’s neck, fingers threading through the short hairs at the base of his skull. He has to stand on his toes, pulling Chanyeol’s endlessly unwilling body down until they’re nose to nose, breathing the same air. 

“I can’t do this again, Yixing. Not again. Please, _please_ , don’t let me-”

Yixing cuts him off with a gentle kiss. This is always the hardest part. He hates it. “We’ll meet again, Chanyeol.” 

_Under the same circumstances, more likely than not, if past experience is anything to go by,_ is what he doesn’t say. What he can’t say. 

Yixing has a frenzied moment of thought were he wonders if it wouldn’t be better for them both if they didn’t meet again. If this was the last time they’d have to go through this torment. Together, but not. Life and death. Touching, kissing but for a brief flicker of a breath, and then torn apart until the next ending. Circling, caressing each other for all time, but never allowed to intertwine. 

It’s not fair.

“We’ll meet again,” Chanyeol repeats, eyes squeezed shut and breathing becoming sharp and ragged as if there were shards of glass in his lungs. 

Chanyeol howls in agony as the fire crescendos in his veins, lighting his smooth skin up like fireworks. His body gives out, slumping him against Yixing’s thinner frame. He holds on despite the flames licking up his skin. He holds on as the fire consumes them both. 

*****

When Yixing wakes up, he’s exhausted. It’s a bone-deep kind of weariness that no amount of sleep can cure. It’s a longing in his heart, and it is a need that dances under his skin like an itch he can’t scratch. 

The early morning breeze blows through the open doors of the balcony, billowing the white curtains around like linen clouds. This place is quiet and calm. Soothing. The walls are neutral colors of grey and blue, and the bed is large and soft. The sheets are cool against his skin. 

He yearns for fingertips that burn along his arms. A touch that is too warm, just the right side of too much. Yixing wants Chanyeol beside him. 

But that is a fool’s dream. 

He rises from the bed, patting down his sleep ruffled hair even though he knows he’s alone. The bathroom is all rounded edges, and fluffy towels. The shower reaches the perfect temperature as soon as he turns it on. The shampoo and soap are gentle, sweet scents. This is a place of tranquility and comfort. 

Yixing has never been able to find any peace here in heaven, or at least, what is the closest approximation of it that he’s aware of. There’s no chorus of angels or pearly gates. There’s simply a vast view of clouds outside his window. He tried once, a long time ago, to climb out the window. Yixing has always been curious, and he’d only wanted to explore. Unfortunately, he’d fallen through the wisps of clouds, soaking him through his clothes and chilling him to the bone, until, impossibly, he’d landed right back in his bed. It was such an unsettling experience that he’s never tried it again. 

He often wonders if Chanyeol is stuck in a place like this. Does he get soft blankets, warm showers and a peaceful color scheme? Does he have a field of clouds outside his window? Or, maybe, Chanyeol is only surrounded with fire and brimstone. Yixing hopes and prays that that isn’t the case, but he’s never thought to ask. After all, their time together is always so limited. He hasn’t ever wanted to waste their precious seconds by asking silly questions. 

He’s completely alone in this room, trapped in his solitude until he’s needed back on the planet again. Time is at a standstill here, so it could be a second or years before he goes back, and he has no way of knowing until his feet touch the earth. 

Luckily, he has become adept at sleeping away the tedium of his existence, dreaming of Chanyeol behind his eyelids until they can meet again. 

*****

Yixing wakes up face down in the dirt. He splutters, spitting out a mouthful of grass and jumping to his feet. Anxious, he tries to calm his racing heart enough to figure out which direction he should go. If he’s here, then there must something terrible happening that he’s meant to clean up after. Chanyeol’s probably having a breakdown at this very moment, trying his best not to hurt anyone even though the fire in his blood demands he do just that. 

But as he searches his surroundings, he realizes that there’s no destressed drumming in his ears. No terrified screams or devastated cries. In fact, everything is… calm.

“It’s beautiful,” Chanyeol’s deep voice startles him. The air shifts beside him, and then, suddenly, Chanyeol is there, too warm and too close, and absolutely perfect. “I-I can’t ever make up for what I took from those people that lived here, but this… This place is beautiful, now.” Black gloves cover his large hands, protecting Yixing’s skin when Chanyeol laces their fingers together between them. “Thanks to you this place is full of life again.”

It takes Yixing a very long look and a full minute to realize where he is. This is the place he last saw Chanyeol, but it’s all but unrecognizable now. The skeletal remains of the charred house are now covered in green. Flowered vines have taken over, climbing up the blackened beams with sunbursts of yellows and reds. Grass has grown, tall and wavy, tickling their knees. Trees are just beginning to develop thicker, studier trunks. Their adolescent branches are not yet tall enough to reach over Chanyeol’s head. 

And there, just through the trees in the distance, he can see a brand new house has been built. It’s a small, quaint cottage with stone walls and a chimney. Two little children are chasing each other through the yard in front of the place. An older sibling is taking photos of them with her cellphone, grinning and saying their parents will be happy to see the pictures when they return from work. It brings a smile to Yixing’s face.

Life has flourished here despite the fire that had ruined it all before. And it is true, Yixing _is_ life, and healing and health, but he is nothing without Chanyeol because without death, life loses all meaning. Each moment is only precious because it has an expiration date. It’s only because of their teamwork, the both of them together, that this place has recovered. 

Yixing tightens his grip on Chanyeol’s hand, turning toward him like a flower facing the sun. “Thanks to _us_ ,” he corrects with a tiny grin on his lips. 

Chanyeol’s eyes are sad even as he smiles back. He brings Yixing’s hand to his lips and breathes the ghost of a kiss over his knuckles.

“I’ll have to leave soon. My body is trying to force me to move already.”

His words are sad but not defeated. Even if they both know it is a futile fight, Chanyeol will do his very best to stay, to give whoever is meant to die a few more minutes of living. Yixing wishes with all his heart that he could ease the burden on Chanyeol’s shoulders, share the weight of these deaths on his soul. 

Yixing blinks back frustrated tears, forcing on a cheerful grin and tugging Chanyeol’s hand playfully. “Then let’s enjoy this stolen moment for as long as we can.”

He guides Chanyeol on a thoughtless path, walking hand in hand through the tall grass. He revels in the way their bodies naturally gravitate toward each other, their elbows knocking together and shoulders brushing. And when the corners of Chanyeol’s mouth start to pull thin from the pain of resisting his destiny, Yixing pulls a long blade of grass up and drags in along the back of his neck, startling a laugh out of him. 

“You’re such a brat,” Chanyeol declares, eyes wrinkling in the corners and all his teeth bared. 

Yixing skips around him, jumping and dodging his hands as Chanyeol tries to tickle him in retaliation. “Maybe I am, but you love me anyway,” he singsongs. 

Chanyeol catches him around the middle, arms warm even through layers of clothing as they curl around him and drag Yixing into his chest. Yixing’s back is pressed flushed with Chanyeol’s front. The buttons on Chanyeol’s black jacket dig in Yixing’s skin, and Chanyeol’s body temperature is too hot, uncomfortably so, but Yixing wants to stay exactly like this forever. 

Chanyeol tucks his chin over Yixing’s shoulder. His lips are molten and soft as they ghost over Yixing’s throat, sending a trail of shivers rocketing down his spine. He giggles helplessly because his throat has always been extremely sensitive. Chanyeol’s grip tightens, and Yixing brings his own hands up, trying to hold Chanyeol’s arms closer. 

“I do love you, you know,” Chanyeol admits as if Yixing hasn’t known for almost an eternity. “I love you so much.”

Yixing turns, placing his chest flush against Chanyeol’s, and leans his head on Chanyeol’s collar bone, winding his arms around Chanyeol’s waist and clinging on. Chanyeol smells more like home than heaven does. His arms feel more like home than that damn room. 

“I love you, too,” he whispers just loud enough for Chanyeol to hear. 

Maybe they could run away together. Find a secluded home in the middle of nowhere and live out the rest of their lives like humans. Or, maybe, they could keep moving, place to place, so they won’t be found, though he’s willfully ignoring that whatever it is that controls them will always be able to find them. That doesn’t matter. They can leave, go on the run together with only their shared body heat to keep them warm at night. Yixing doesn’t really need a fixed location to call home as long as he has Chanyeol with him. 

The words are on the tip of his tongue when Chanyeol staggers out of his embrace. He looks up, panicked and wide-eyed, fear painted across his handsome face. 

“I don’t want to leave! I don’t want to do this!” He reaches out, straining to catch Yixing’s hand, but his feet are moving of their own accord, dragging him backward. “Please! Please, don’t let me go!”

Yixing feels fresh tears begin to build up in his eyes. Chanyeol looks so scared and helpless, terrified of what he’s capable of, of what he has no choice but to do. People are going to die very soon, and Chanyeol is the one that is going to do it. 

“Yixing!”

He lurches forward, desperate to grab Chanyeol and keep him safe and sound right here in this beautiful place. His hands catch empty air, and his feet won’t move, glued to the ground. He struggles, cursing under his breath and praying silently that he’ll be able to help Chanyeol. He prays with all his might. 

But…. Chanyeol is gone, vanished, and in the next second the sound of people screaming in pain fills Yixing’s ears. He runs, runs and runs as fast and far as he can, but he doesn’t know where the noise is coming from. He never does. His feet lead him in pointless circles as he passes through towns and countryside landscapes like a blur, too fast for human eyes. 

And when he finally finds what he’s looking for, it’s too late like it always is. Like it’s meant to be. The air is hot and heavy, filled with smoke and the scent of burning ozone. Embers are smoldering in the remains of someone’s house, and amongst the ashes is Chanyeol, dirty and crying into his hands in despair. 

Yixing’s heart breaks all over again in the same way it does every time. 

He takes a deep breath and does his best to heal Chanyeol in the same way he always does, _always will,_ ignoring the way the grass grows and flowers bloom beneath his feet as he steps through the ashes.


End file.
